I'm An Ex-Hummus Bigot

I'm an Ex-Hummus Bigot It's true! I was. I really was.

Okay now, part of my "12 Step Program" is promptly admitting I was wrong! I'm not trying to make light of anything, especially something as successful as the "12 Step Program".

Anyway here's my story. All my life I hated Hummus. I don't mean I didn't like Hummus. I mean I HATED Hummus. I didn't want it near me. Not on my plate. Not on my table. Not even at the same salad bar. Keep that stinking, horrible Hummus away from me. It's not even American! How can it be any good? It's foreign. Nothing foreign can be any good!

I know, how stupid.

I said this is part of my "admitting I was wrong" step.

People would offer me Hummus. No thank you, I don't EEEATTT Hummus.

"But it's so good." I said I don't EEEATTT Hummus!

"Just smell it. It's so good. Here taste it." I would fend them off with the expertise of a Hummus martial arts expert. Counter-blocking every Hummus assault. Head-bobbing to miss the Hummus jabs. Dancing around the table to tire-out the Hummus attacks. Bruce Lee would have been proud of how I ducked to miss the flying, Hummus-laced pita chips hurled my way by a Hummus-loving mob. Try as they may, they could not get that awful Hummus near my mouth.

My whole life I had successfully avoided the horrific stuff and I was not about to give in, no matter the amount of pressure from the Hummus Lobby.

Now, Garbanzo Beans, that’s another story. I can't get enough of them. I just love Garbanzo Beans. I love them in every way. They're the right size, just right to get several in a bite. They're the right color. They smell right. They even sound right...GAR BAN ZO BEENZ. How could they be any better?

I wanted Garbanzo Beans in my salad. I wanted Garbanzo Beans on my plate. I wanted Garbanzo Beans for every meal. Okay, maybe not every meal but it's hard to express the depth of my love for Garbanzo Beans. I really love Garbanzo Beans.

No one had to force me to buy Garbanzo Beans...I love them.

No one had to force me to eat Garbanzo Beans...I love them.

No one had to force me to want Garbanzo Beans...I love them.

No one tried to shove Garbanzo Beans down my throat…except me.

Fast forward 25 years. I'm in my pantry and my wife asks me to get the can of Chick Peas while I'm in there. I pick-up the Chick Peas on my way out and begin reading the can as I walk to the island counter.

My eyes scanned the label. Blah, blah, blah, Chick Peas. Blah, blah, blah, recipe. Blah, blah, blah, Garbanzo Beans. Blah, blah, blah, Hummus. Blah, blah, blah, HUH?

Chick Peas? Garbanzo Beans? Recipe? Hummus?

What the…

My pulse began escalating. My breathing became more difficult. My vision began narrowing down to a small strip of focus the size of the label on the can.

“Concentrate!” “You must concentrate!” “What does that say?”

Blah, blah, blah, Chick Peas. Blah, blah, blah, recipe. Blah, blah, blah, Garbanzo Beans. Blah, blah, blah, Hummus.

Oh crap!

My wife asked what was wrong.

I began fumbling and stuttering and muttering some incoherent words about wasting my whole life and why didn’t I know and how could this be.

She said, “What are you talking about?”

As I collapsed into the barstool I said, “This…this…this can says Chick Peas are Garbanzo Beans.”

“Yes”.

“…And it has a recipe for…” I swallowed hard, “Hummus”.

“Yes”.

“What…what…what does it mean?”

“Well Idiot”, that’s her cute little term of endearment for me, “it means Chick Peas and Garbanzo Beans are the same thing! AND” she paused for great dramatic effect,

“THAT’S WHAT HUMMUS IS MADE OF!”

I sat on that barstool in stunned silence, contemplating the meaning of life relative to this new revelation for what must have been months… or at least ten minutes.

I didn’t know what to do. I was confused. I went to the nearest store and began tearing through the Hummus section, reading every label, scanning the ingredients and there it was.

Hummus is made from Garbanzo Beans!

I went and got a basket and quickly filled it with unneeded groceries just to hide the one container of Hummus I was going to buy.

Outside now, I ran to the car as fast as the filled basket would go. I quickly threw the groceries in the back and sat down in the front seat with the Hummus and a pita chip.

“Here goes” I thought as I lifted the Hummus to my mouth, apprehensive but strangely anxious.

The moment it hit the tiny taste buds covering my tongue, my car became filled with a warm, glowing light and I knew my life would never be the same.

The warm, glowing light faded as the car parked in front of me pulled away, but I still knew my life would never be the same. I was no longer a Hummus bigot. I had experienced an epiphany. You can’t be sure if you hate a food…if you haven’t tried it!

If I didn’t really hate Hummus, but only thought I did, maybe there were other foods I was falsely prejudiced against. Maybe Cranberry Sauce isn’t nasty after all. Maybe Sushi won’t kill you. Maybe Caviar is worth the money.

I soon fell in love with Artichoke Hearts. I had a weekend encounter with Oysters Rockefeller. I am head-over-heels for Lamb with mint jelly. Now, turkey without Cranberry Sauce is like…peanut butter without fried bananas…yeah I tried that too.

I found out just because I always “thought something” didn’t necessarily make it true. Life is like that. So many times we have preconceived notions about this or that, but if we would take the time to experience life, we would find out sometimes we’re wrong about the way we think.

This isn’t just true about food. It’s the same with jobs, and things, and people, and relationships. We need to set our preconceived notions aside and look for the truth. Sometimes we have the wrong information. It doesn’t matter how we got the wrong information. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve believed it. It doesn’t matter why we started believing it. What matters is the truth. That’s all, the truth.

So now I have a list. “Things I Thought I Hate.” I’m going through the list one-by-one trying to find out what other great things I’ve been missing. I'm determined to live life to the fullest, and smell all the Hummus along the way.

Life is great...experience it!

On a recent trip to Mexico City I did confirm I was right about Pancitas.

YUK!

Keep Believing...

Bille