You Cannot Go Where Your Thoughts Have Not Been

You cannot go where your thoughts have not been.

Consider this, if you’re leaving on a trip to Amsterdam, don’t you mentally go to Amsterdam first? You plan your trip. You determine where in Amsterdam you actually want to go. Are you staying in a hotel?

Hostel?

The streets?

You think about your trip in advance. Your thoughts go to Amsterdam before you ever physically arrive.

Even if you are one of these people who say “I never plan anything. I just go where the road leads” your thoughts are on the road ahead of you, planning, scanning, organizing, preparing. That’s just the way it is.

Okay, forget Amsterdam.

Let’s say you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Your thoughts go into the kitchen to make the sandwich before the sandwich actually manifests in your hands. Unless your REALLY lucky and have a spouse who will go into the kitchen and make the sandwich for you. The way you like it…slices perfectly aligned…peanut butter spread uniformly across the whole slice of bread…grape, or better yet, blackberry jelly on the other slice topping a nice thin layer of butter, or SmartBalance, whatever, just so long as there is nothing dripping over the sides of he bread.

Did you just start thinking about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Even if you can’t eat peanuts without going into anaphylactic shock, you were still thinking about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Your mind went there. Your thoughts went there.

You're Exactly Who You Are Supposed To Be

You’re exactly who you are supposed to be. I know this is a little different from the regular blog you may read someplace else, but I have something to say which needs to be said.

Today, someone close to me told of how he had turned in the paperwork to get assistance with his disability.

When asked, “What disability?”

He replied, “You know that I’m slow. I’ve been slow ever since I was in that wreck and had brain damage. I’m slow and feel like giving up”

When he said that, I went back in time, twenty years ago, to my mechanic’s shop. I was there to pick my Suburban and I was about to pay a lady I considered my friend. She had been there in the office to help me every time I had my cars serviced for ten years or more. We always had great talks and she was a great person.

As she gave me the receipt for the work done, I told her I would see her next week when I brought in my other vehicle.

She smiled sweetly and said, “I won’t be here next week. The new manager told me this Friday will be my last day.”

“Why?” I stupidly asked.

“He said I’m slow, you know mentally, slow.”

She saw the anguish in my face and said, “Its okay, Bille. I know I’m slow. I’ve always known it. Its okay he wants me to leave, too. I’ll spend more time with my kids. My kids ain’t slow, they’re smart.”

I started to say something stupid again but she cut me off.

“You know, in school everyone said I was stupid. When I got married and had my babies, I learned I wasn’t stupid. My husband never told me I was stupid, or slow. He just told me he loved me. I was pretty. I was the one he wanted to spend his life with. Then when my babies were born, they needed me and loved me just the way I am. They don’t think I’m slow. They think I’m Mom.”

We both laughed.

Live Life

The only way to live life is to start living. Here’s what I mean.

If you Google the exact phrase “live life”, there are over 8,650,000 results available. This is a subject on a lot of people’s minds. How do I live life?

Here is the answer. Are you ready?

Start living!

That’s it, start living. Today! Right now!

So many of us have a few favorite sayings, like:

“As soon as I _________ I’m going to get started.”

“One of these days, I’m going to travel.”

“Some day I’m going to __________.”

“When I get the bills paid off I’ll be able to do what I want.”

“When the kids grow up we can _________.”

“When my ship comes in I’ll be able to __________.”

“When I win the lottery I’m going to give __________ to charity.”

“As soon as I get the promotion I can __________.”

Let me go ahead and tell you:

You ARE NOT going to win the lottery!

Your ship IS HERE and has been here a long time; you’ve been looking in the wrong direction.

One of these days NEVER comes.

We will ALWAYS have bills.

The kids are your kids FOREVER.

You may get the promotion BUT then you’ll want to wait until the next one.

Some day IS today!

You Can Get Away, Anytime

Did you know you can get away without leaving town? OK, how about getting away without leaving your house? Or even getting away while you’re still at the office? You can do it! You should do it!

Here’s what I mean. We all have hectic schedules. We all have deadlines. We all face stress that was unheard of in past generations. No, we all aren’t facing death on the fields of Gettysburg, but we face an unmerited, fast paced stress our parents and grandparents would have believed unimaginable. Never before have we been “available” basically 24/7 like we are today.

We need to get away! Not like the “Calgon Bath”…although that’s cool if you’re a “bath” person…

or if you take a “bath” with the right person…just kidding.

We need to “mentally” get away. We need to unplug for a while, mentally. We need to take a mental break from all the stress and all the hectic schedules and all the deadlines.

So how do you do it?

I’m glad you asked!

If you buy this book you’ll find “21 Ways To Get Away”.

Just kidding again, sorry.

Here is one way to get away. I use this one and it really works. I like it because it is so easy and you can do it almost anytime.

Cats Are Finicky People

Cats are finicky people. Yes I know the definition of people is “group of humans” but don’t argue, just listen and you’ll agree; Cats are finicky people.

There’s this cat that lives in my house. It has several different names, Casey, K.C., CaseyJack, Fatso. It doesn’t really matter what you call him, and he answers to none of them. Notice I didn’t say “I have this cat”, or “My cat, K.C.”, or “Our family cat”, no, this cat simply resides in my house, rent free.

He’s like a bad boyfriend or girlfriend. He shows up for some attention and he’s off, never to be seen again, until he needs something, and the only “something” he ever needs and shows up for is food.

Food!

That’s right, this FAT CAT shows up only when he wants to eat, and you darned well better feed him…immediately. If you don’t, he goes into this whole needy person bit, falling down on the floor, crying, flipping over in front of your feet.

He doesn’t even know how to meow. All he can get out is “MEH”.

That’s it! “MEH”.

What the crap is “MEH”? I mean really, “MEH”? What does it mean? Well, I know what it means. In this instance, “FEED ME!” But really, is that the best you can come up with? “MEH”?

If the falling down and crying part doesn’t work, he goes into “hyper-rubbing-my-face-on-you” mode. Just as the title describes, he follows you EVERYWHERE you go rubbing his face on your feet, ankles, legs, cabinets, doors, furniture, chairs, table legs, black dress-pants, anything he can get his fat, furry face on, as long as he’s sure you can see him do it.

Oh, and just in case he gets hungry in the middle of the night, he has this other neat trick. It’s called the “I’m-gonna-stick-my-paw-under-your-door-and-rattle-it-so-loud-you’ll-think-someone-is-breaking-in-so-you-can-get-up-and-feed-me-‘cause-I’m-hungry-now” trick. This is a really cool trick. My heart loves it.

OK, so the cat that lives in my house gets fed. He’s happy right? Since he’s well fed he really rubs on our legs now, right?

WRONG!

It’s at this point that he turns into a feline Mr. Hyde. He gets a crazy look in his eyes, runs in terror from the very legs and feet he mere moments before could not stop rubbing, bolts from hiding place to hiding place, finally slinking upstairs, never to be seen again until Fatso, his schizophrenic altar-ego shows up wanting food.

This is where the people part comes in.

K.C. reminds me of some of the people I’ve known in my life…finicky people. People who require ‘a little more handling’. Does he remind you of someone you know? Does he remind you of someone you work with? Does he remind you of a relative? Does he remind you of me? Does he remind you of you?

Finicky means requiring much care, precision, or attentive effort.

Cats are finicky people…and sometimes people are too.

I hope I’m not!

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Will It Still Hurt In A Year

“Will it still hurt in a year?”

“That’s a weird question.” I answered

Then I started to think about it. Will it still hurt in a year? I was sitting in the hospital after breaking my ankle. I was getting married in just over 2 weeks. I just spent $10,000 for a honeymoon in Hawaii. A huge wedding was planned. Flowers were ordered. People were coming in from all over the country. Tuxedos were all arranged. Flights were booked. Photographers, food, cakes, minister, dresses, all of it was done.

I figured I could hobble through the ceremony, as unsightly as it would be, having a groom on crutches. But I didn’t see how I could still go on my honeymoon in Hawaii. So when the doctor gave me the news about my ankle, I asked “How am I supposed to go on a honeymoon with a hurt ankle?”

That’s when he asked “Will it still hurt in a year?”

Doctors are like that. They “cut to the chase” so to speak. I guess he had much more serious things to think about. A guy with a broken ankle was not a spectacular thing to him. So he asked me a very straightforward question, a question that got me thinking. It got me thinking about more than my ankle.

How many times are we consumed with fear, or grief, or worry about something we are facing right now, in the present? It seems like our whole world is falling apart. It seems like the darkest hour of our lives. It seems like there is no way we will ever recover from this. It seems like it hurts too much right now. It’s unbearable. How will we be able to survive this?

I want to ask you this question. Will it still hurt in a year? Think about it. Will it still hurt in a year?

I’ve been through some hard times. When you’re in the midst of the hard times it seems like your world is just about over.

Divorce.

Death of loved ones.

Business stolen.

Abused.

Lied about. Lied to.

Cheated on.

Financially broken.

Heartbroken.

Forsaken.

No job.

Kids in trouble.

Car repossessed.

Dumped.

I want you to know, this too shall pass. It is simply something you are going through. It’s not the end. You will make it. You will live. You will recover. You will love again. You will smile again. You will laugh again. You will be happy again. You will have money again. You will have peace again. You really will.

Will it still hurt in a year?

NO!

It won’t. I can boldly say that as someone who has gone through many of the same things I listed. In a year it won’t hurt. It won’t, if you get over it.

If you get over it?

Remember my broken ankle? I had to let my ankle heal. But it did. It healed and on my 1st anniversary I had my honeymoon in Hawaii. It was great. It was wonderful. But I had to let my ankle heal. I had to get over my broken ankle. I had to give my body time to heal my ankle. I had to let it “not hurt anymore”.

You have to get over whatever it is you’re going through. If you keep living in the middle of whatever it is you’re going through, if you keep holding onto it, you’ll never get over it. You have to let it go. Get it behind you and never look back. Let the healing start.

If I kept re-breaking my ankle every day, it never would have healed. I had to stay off of my ankle. I had to leave the cast on and not open it every day. I couldn’t re-hurt myself everyday. I had to forget about it, let it go and let the healing begin.

Now, I can happily say it doesn’t hurt. My ankle doesn’t hurt.

What about you? Will it still hurt in a year? Do you want it to still hurt in a year? Can you get over it? Can you let it go? Can you let the healing begin?

Remember that question!

Will it still hurt in a year?

Make the answer…NO!

Keep Believing…

Bille Baty